The People have Spoken!
These are tough times, and tough times call for an equally tough leader.
People want someone who will act decisively, without waiting for complicated information that will only muddy the water.
People want someone who tells them what is real and what is fake, and removes the need for critical thinking.
People want someone strong, who isn't afraid to push other people around, be the boss, be the man.
People want someone who is smart enough to know he knows things, without needing to listen to other people.
by POPULAR DEMAND,
we have formed an exploratory committee
to consider bringing
GENERALISSIMO CARLO SUPREMO
out of retirement.
(At this time, we cannot speak to the rumors that JEFE PABLO is being considered as running mate.)
(Although we do understand the importance of the Latino voter.)